The party starts here.  
Is it ok to send e-invitations instead of traditional mailed ones?

Great question from Lisa W. who is just getting started with the planning process for their upcoming Simcha…

There was a time in the world of etiquette that sending an e invite would have been considered tacky, but not anymore!  It has since become a personal decision.

It is perfectly acceptable to do all this online.  And that has become more and more popular.  There are many great websites out there where you can find beautiful invitations, upload your guest list and it will track responses for you. 

If you do a traditional snail mail invitation, there’s the rising cost of postage.  Not only do you have to buy stamps for mailing, but then there’s the RSVP card.  Plus, the inserts.

The invitation sets the tone for the party and gives all the preliminary information your guests need.  Date, time, place, how to RSVP and more.


So, the pros and cons:


Pros:  Lots and lots of websites to choose from, with lots and lots of styles of invitations, all with great features. Much less expensive.  And again, there are great websites for capturing your RSVPs.

Cons:  always the chance that it gets missed in the array of email everyone gets every day.  Or goes into spam or some other folder.  And then there’s the small percentage of older adults that don’t computer at all.  You still need to get the word out to them. 

Paper Invitations

Pros: There’s something to be said about receiving that beautiful, stuffed envelope in the mail, with all it’s color, fancy fonts, inserts, ribbons and glitter.  Not to mention that you most likely will be working with a real live invitation person who will guide you through the choices and help you put the perfect invitation together.  And make sure you don’t forget anything important.  You’re working with a real live expert. They may provide a service where they address the envelopes and stuff and stamp everything for you.  Many mistakes can be avoided this way.

Cons: Can be costly depending on what you choose.   Can get lost in the mail.  Requires more effort if you’re actually the one stuffing the envelopes.


Another option is to mail a traditional invitation and set up a website for RSVPs and any additional info you want your guests to know about.

Either way, one of your biggest tasks with invitations, any which way you send them, is that you are still going to have to do a LOT of follow up.  Guests tend to read the invite and intend to RSVP, but forget to.  I guarantee this is going to happen.  That’s just the nature of the beast.

If you’re looking to send out paper invites, BESA recommends Create A Design Invitations & Judaica. You’ll find them on our website

Have a question about your upcoming Mitzvah/Simcha/Special Event? Fill out the form below and I look forward to answering more of your questions!


Eventfully yours,

The Mitzvah Maven

Mitzvah Maven

Ask the Mitzvah Maven your questions!